This morning

This morning I called Person to Person, the social services program that my state social worker recommended  to me. I left a message. They were under staffed because the offices on the bottom floor of their building were getting painted and had to be closed. As soon as they told me they were under staffed I asked if they were hiring. Talk about ambitious. But I really have to be. I have to be looking for job opportunities. That’s when they told me about their new painting renovations and informed me they were all volunteers. Oops. That kinda made me feel stupid. Shitty actually because I tried to get a job in a place where the employees were all giving their time freely. Steady work is essential for me now however and I can’t feel bad about trying to get work. Without it we’ll end up in the same position again. Not being able to find steady employment put us here. I don’t want it to happen again. I’ve made sure to register as a substitute teacher in Stamford, where I was subbing last year. I’d love to be a full time teacher but the certification process is expensive and time consuming. I don’t mind the time consuming part, but the ARC ( Alternate Route to Certification) program in CT costs $4,000 and I’ve been rejected twice now because I can’t provide my college transcripts to them.  Sacred Heart University, where I completed my BA, will not, as all universities, release my official transcripts until I finish paying them the tuition I owe ( a total of $1500). The irony is, had they released the records I’d be a certified teacher right now and much more likely to find work. But they require payment, it’s a requirement for graduation, and as of now, I have not completed all requirement for graduation because I still owe this money. I, unfortunately, have not been able to touch this debt because of the strain and expense caused by my loans not coming through. Hind site makes me think I should have chosen a MUCH cheaper school. They do exist in this area. The past can not be changed. I loved Sacred Heart. The education I received there was wonderful; my professors were awesome and brilliant. What I learned there, how I grew, It was all definitely worth the time commitment. But money, money is hard. And, unfortunately, higher learning has to be paid for. I’m sure my professors aren’t wealthy people.
Today is about getting things done however. I have to pick my son up from his sleep over. We’ve been offered a room in the house of another friend’s sister. She is a single mom and is absolutely insisting on helping. I haven’t accepted yet. I feel bad doing so with my ducks so out of order. It is what it is though and maybe this time I should be proactive right? And settle in in one place until everything comes together. I hate the uncertainty of that. I’ve gotta get over myself.

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