Gilded Mediocrity

It’s something I’ve been thinking of for a while now. I live in Fairfield County, CT. MANY successful people have homes here. Being a blue collar middle-class person is a stigma. $50,000 a year= barely making ends meat. Yeah. It’s that ridiculous. And that’s why it’s so easy for me to be homeless. It’s not about keeping up with the Jones’. It’s about being able to pay the rent the Jones’ charge in order to pay their own exorbitant mortgages. Absolute financial craziness. But what I’ve started to notice scares me more then the obvious socioeconomic barriers. Becoming a part of this new blogging community I’ve realized that people in my area consider themselves experts in things simply because they have something to say about them and can afford to promote their ideas. And it’s the ideas that get promoted that get into people’s heads. How many of us are actually discriminating enough to think about what we read or see advertised? It’s dangerous to just believe somebody is for real, actually has integrity, just because their website is well designed, or their PR machine has wrangled them spots on local T.V. stations. Watch closely with your eyes and your hearts. Listen to the way people say things as well as what they are saying. Shameless self promotion has become the norm. It’s the way people get their thoughts and ideas heard and seen. Some are worth listening to. Others…. don’t be deceived. ESPECIALLY when it comes to our children. Just because somebody says they are a parenting expert does not mean they are. ANYBODY can pay for a website and call themselves an expert. Get references from clients. Talk to people who have heard of them or know them.. and here’s my little bit of advice (because with our children we can never be too careful): Don’t just talk to their “colleagues”- or the people who will help promote them in order to garner a favor in return- listen to the “little people”. Listen to those “lowly” voices carried on a frequency often too low to be heard in this current atmosphere of high pitched hype. Listen to what they’ve seen and experienced because they, in my opinion, are the truth gage. These are the people that “lofty” individuals will show their real selves to, in the way they would to their animals, confident that the witness has no voice. Listen. Listen to those who haven’t got a “voice” that’s blasting shamelessly and colorfully in your ear, eyes, and brain everyday to tell you how wonderful they are. Listen to the unspoken worry and warning that holds awareness at that low frequency that most often goes unheard. Ask the waitress that serves them at the local restaurant. The barista who has to prepare their coffee every morning. Ask the bartender that serves them their drinks at night. But because these people can be brought with good tips, also ask their gardeners, their landscapers- the immigrant ones they don’t feel they have to be nice to! Ask around to these individuals and all the hype they’ve used to promote themselves may turn out to be shit, plain and simple.
Being a single mom has made me vigilant. Being homeless has given me a VERY interesting perspective on many human beings. The way an individual treats the people they don’t think matter, ones they may not even realize are there, that’s where their integrity lies. Be sure ANY one you allow into your child’s life, ESPECIALLY counsellors, therapists, interventionists and so on (that you’ll be investing in financially, but more importantly, PERSONALLY!!!) are worth the trust they are charging for. Please! I am very familiar with the Fairfield County area… I know a lot of professionals here, as well as services offered. If you have any questions about one of these before you trust them with your children and your family, please ask me. Or ask another one of the “forgotten”: the fly on the wall, the dog-eye witness. Make this perspective part of your normal reference search. You’ll be so surprised at the difference a perspective makes.
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