Inspiration: @surestephanie

     I’ve been thinking about one tweet all day. It keeps playing over and over in my head and because it inspires so many thoughts and emotions its been hard for me to filter through them all and compose something tangible to put down on paper. I kept thinking about it- “scared to be myself”. I rationalized it, I spiritualized it, I even feminized it, but none of those things really articulated what I was feeling about the person who wrote it because I don’t think she needs me to think for her. Her statement told me that she was more then capable of articulating her own thoughts. In fact that is what inspired me. She could say, out loud to twitter-land, that she was afraid, afraid to be herself; she could bare her insecurities in 140 characters or less and maintain her self respect while doing it. She didn’t seem very scared to me. She seemed pretty courageous actually. Any 12 step program will say “acceptance is the first step. It’s one of the two things about the 12 step programs that I actually have respect for. It’s real, it’s a truth, an elemental one that can’t be bent, escaped or skipped over. Until you’ve accepted what you are, who you are, what you feel inside then you can’t move forward. It’s the most difficult thing in the world to do. It takes the ability to see yourself objectively, not detoured by shame or fear. It’s takes bravery, even if you’re shaking the whole time, to admit that you are having trouble; to articulate your weaknesses. And that’s what this person was doing. She was articulating a weakness, to anyone who would listen, in hopes of getting some feed back that would help her. Which means she was faithful as well as brave.
     I think courage and faith are symbionts. They nurture each other. Without courage you don’t have faith; without faith, you won’t make progress. It’s simple. But not easy. Yet she has them both, in abundance. I just hope she knows it. Giving ourselves credit isn’t always easy. Once we’ve perfected how to admit our faults we tend to sit there and obsess over them. What results is a sort of constant negative reinforcement, for though it’s good to know your faults, it isn’t good to dwell on them. Once you acknowledge them, think only of working them out. And slip in a compliment for yourself here and there everyday. For example: I’m brave as hell for realizing how scared I am right now. I came up with a line that I’ve posted on Facebook a few times. Yeah, I said a few times; I was real proud of it okay? LOL. Anyway, I’d like to share it with you now:
“I’m afraid of a lot of things, but fear isn’t one of them”.
It’s my take on the classic “There is nothing to fear but fear itself”. Think your own thoughts on these, and share your thoughts, because I’d love to hear what they mean to you, what they inspire in you. What they inspire in me is this: Confidence. They help me realize that even when I’m scared as hell, I can keep moving, I have to keep moving. Fear is the only thing that can hold me back; I am the only thing that can hold me back. And if everyday I only take one step, because of obstacles and challenges that come my way, well then, at the end of the year I’ve taken 365 steps in the direction I wanted to go. It’s no small feet πŸ˜‰ So the next time you realize that you’re scared, realize that you’re brave as well, because you realized you were scared and that takes courage. It sounds so silly, to realize you’re scared. But it’s not. Most of the most heinous crimes committed by man are committed out of unrecognized fear. Fear that’s shaped itself into hate through the constant kneading of the fingers of intelligence. It’s been rationalized, spiritualized and nicely dressed so no one can see it’s original ugly form. So no, it isn’t something small when you have courage enough to know you are scared. That is when you don’t act rashly, impetuously or ignorantly. It’s when you have the strength to reach out and ask for help, even in the smallest of ways, like a text or update on twitter. It’s you acknowledging you. And a person aware of themselves is a benefit to us all. No matter if you find your freedom through the written word, or only 140 characters on a mostly anonymous twitter page. As long as you are honest with your thoughts, you’ll attract the feed back you need. It’s a big decision that takes a little effort and moves you a long way. And you’re worth it. Keep on being brave. Keep on knowing yourself well enough to shout you’re self out. But please remember to squeeze in those compliments everyday too. You’ll always get them from me, but believe this- they’ll mean a lot more coming from you. Thanks for being brave. You’ve inspired me. I look forward to more of your blossoming wisdom πŸ™‚

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