Okay. Good. So I have something productive to do today. Instead of sitting around and stewing over the bitch that my supervisor was to me. Taking my shift away was bad enough (though I’m sure it was technically the correct thing to do), but she had no right to scream at me like I was her husband forgetting their anniversary. That’s just unacceptable behavior. I feel like this will blow over though. It better. I don’t need something else to fight about. My energy is better spent in other places.
Now, about that land line… who still installs them?
God Bless Google 🙂
What surprises me the most about all this is how absolutely calm I am. Because good things have been happening to me and when good things happen, when the universe gives back and says, “hey- asshole- see, I really do love you” it makes a difference to your soul. To quote John Legend “Life can be so burdensome when every day’s a rainy one”. And I’ve been in the midst of a rainy season. But this time I have money in my bank account. $100 of child support came in yesterday. It had been lost to the wind for a while because my address changed, but it finally came through. And just that little bit, that little piece from the shatter, coming back to me to help me put a little more of this mess back together again, helped me immeasurably. Never under estimate the affect of an act of kindness or a gracious gesture. Little things mean A LOT. And nobody should be stuck in a rainy season without an umbrella or raincoat. Seriously. Just because the rainy season is theirs and not yours doesn’t mean you can’t help out a bit. Just that little piece coming back to me has given me the boost I needed to get through this day. It’s not a lot of money. In fact, with gas and towing last night ( I had my car towed to the station to get it’s brakes repaired- my mother lent me her car for the next couple of days!- That helped me feel good too) it’s probably more like $50 now. But it’s mine and it’s there. And thanks to my mother I have a car to drive…. Gosh. It’s like all my efforts are finally being acknowledged by other people behaving positively toward me. And I know I shouldn’t need the approval of others. And in fact, I don’t need their approval.
But I do need their acknowledgement. Of my efforts. Of my hard work. Treating someone badly only passes on bad vibes. And it sure feels good to have my mom help me out. If all of this hadn’t happened I know I would have been crushed by today. I would have been worried about tomorrow, about getting another subbing position. It feels so good to not have to worry. To be able to relax. Too much pressure will distort any body’s perspective. It’s inevitable. It’s so important to not let anyone get to that point. And as much as I believe in personal responsibility there is so much meaning in a helping hand from the outside, reaching in to relieve you of some of that stress. It helps the mind and soul.
I am glad for the hands the universe sent me yesterday so that I could deal with this disappointment today. It was a nice gift and I’m so happy for it.
I’ve been listening to my mother’s Engelbert Humperdinck CD everyday in her car. LOL. Hysterical that I love it so much. It’s Sooo “lounge”. But there’s one song that I am absolutely ADDICTED to. Play it over and over and over (much to my son’s dismay). That might be what’s helping me too. The music. My car doesn’t have a CD player, or hook-up for my MP3 player, and the radio doesn’t work, so most days I’m stuck in silence. Not good for me. Because then my head wonders and spins out of control. Music saves me. And I’ve had the great opportunity to listen to music every time I step into the car, so, It’s made me happy. ANYWAY- the song I’m ADDICTED to is “How to Win Your Love”- By EH. Can’t get enough. It’s soooo Gosh Darn “Christopher Cross”, but Englebert Humperdinck doing Christopher Cross, which makes it even CRAZIER- But hilarious. And I love it. Here it is. I’m probably going to listen to it at least twice before I get my but out on the road!