So I wake up at 5 a.m. to obsessively stalk the subfinder webpage so I can find work for today but nothin’. I’ve sat through two “locked” jobs and a bunch a’ “no jobs available at this time”. I have the announcements memorized. And I wish I could be sad about it because really I should be. If I don’t work a MINIMUM of four days a week I can’t pay my rent. So why the F^@K am I so damn happy that I’ll probably be staying home today? Because I don’t WANT to work. I love leisure time. I actually enjoy goofing off and hanging around my house. Not to mention, I like going to the gym and not worrying about the time. If I could actually get away with living like this it would be a dream come true; not having to be anywhere at any specific time. DAMN! That’s what I want. But here I am, stuck in the situation that has taken over my life, desperately NEEDING work and not finding it which is causing TONs of stress and heart ache and illness. I haven’t been healthy for a week now. I need rest and a friggin’ doctor. Every morning I get up and sit on this damn “subfinder” website begging like a bitch in heat for a little attention, a smiggin’ of opportunity. I’m exhausted by how much effort I’m putting into something that I don’t give a shit about and that gets me absolutely NOWHERE. YES, I love to teach, but NO, I can’t stand this crap about only working when someone else doesn’t want to. And waking up at the time I do, just to find work. What is going on here??? I’ve been checking the site since last night for Christ’s sake! And no work??? I’ve decided to abandon all my things. To run away with my child and travel aimlessly for the rest of my life. Work a little here, a little there, fill the gas tank and move the fuck on. Because I hate just waiting around. What good is it doing me? I’m sitting here BEGGING for the LACK of opportunity. Enough. I’m putting way too much energy into things that do not give back.
Been watchin’ this for the past two days on YouTube just laughing my A$$ off.