I think most people are afraid of connection. They are afraid of all that it requires. It means they have to relinquish control. It means they have to have faith. Two things which are impossible if you seek only to manage instead of participate. So they have invented this idea of self love to convince others to be afraid with them. That some how you can be “loved” all by yourself. This is ludicrous. Without connection there is no love. Connection within your own self is simply awareness. Love is unique, and particularly special, because it is dependent upon two individual entities coming together for it’s existence.
Some I’m sure will argue that our body and our spirit are two separate entities coming together. I disagree. I do not believe our body and spirit ever “come together”. I believe they are two opposing forces that have been placed in the same vicinity for one reason- to challenge us to find BALANCE. To lead us individually toward a state of balance and harmony by requiring us to find an outlet for all that energy their contrasting energies are creating. That’s where others come in. You share your energy, and you allow an exchange with theirs and you’ll find that balance. You’ll find that peace.
Love is unique. Love is connective. And honestly I do believe that most of us are built to find peace only after we’ve found love. Because we were designed unbalanced and imperfect for the soul reason of making us dependent upon each other. And as unpopular an idea as dependence on one another is, it is real. It is how we were built- to keep us from being greedy and self destructive. If we harm others, the harm comes back to us. If we ignore others we deprive ourselves. We may become wealthy, we may become famous, but these things have nothing to do with being loved, or even being peaceful.
Yes. I believe it is the soul purpose of our existence as human beings to create love. It may not be the romantic kind. It could very well be the love one creates when they work with the poor, nurture a child, or inspire others. But it is our purpose to create love because where love is created, balance is achieved. And only then. The universe has designed us this way. We are dependent upon others for balance whether we like it or not. And we can lie to ourselves and others, we can write books and blogs and create television shows about it, but we are deceiving ourselves out of fear, desperation and laziness. The ONE way to balance ourselves is to connect with others. We have to reach out to them. We have to offer them our hearts. Without out reach we can not ever be loved.
I watched the Wizard of Oz over and over as a kid. And every time the wizard told the Tin Man “a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others”. I used to think, is it some popularity contest? Is that what he’s saying?
The sentiment is simple. Love isn’t love ’til you give it away. Love happens during the exchange. You can not have it inside yourself. What is inside you is good will, kindness, concern,… to make it love you MUST exchange it. That’s a required ingredient. Without it there is no love. And as much as we’d like to trick ourselves into thinking differently, no matter how intelligent the arguments or extensive the research, LOVE is NOT LOVE ’til YOU GIVE IT AWAY. Simple.
Stop being afraid of it, and start making it. Give it away. And open yourself to receiving it. You’ll be surprised how much there is around you.