I find myself this morning in a position both satisfying and exhausting. I have worked what is my very first full week as a substitute teacher. I’ve found work everyday this week, which is quite the feat I must say. What it required was being on the computer every minute between 3 and 5 to grab jobs. It’s stressful and belittling but it worked so I’m happy. I’m exhausted. And afraid. Because I do not have the money I’m supposed to have to pay my landlord the rent I owe her. Because of previous weeks where finding work was impossible because of issues that arose and I was left to struggle through two weeks without work. And now I’m faced with a phone call I do not want to make. I’m scared. Really scared. But I’ll make it. Because I have to. I’d promised my landlord I’d have all her money to her by today. It wasn’t possible. I get paid every two weeks. My check yesterday was $400 and the pay period before that was $225. That does not pay rent. It has left me short by enough to endanger our living situation once again. I feel… nervous. What I’m happy about is that it seems I will not have to deal with this sort of stress again because I have in fact been getting such steady work since. But I have to deal now with the hardship presented to me a month ago. It’s funny how the waves work; being hit by something that happened a while ago. I’d been silly to believe everything would be fine. It isn’t. And this phone call will be difficult to make…

No music today. No comedy. Just cold air and dusty roads. Wish me luck 🙂

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