It’s important to find inspiration where ever you can. Because the importance is not what it is, it’s the inspiration it inspires and what that does for you. Make believe, real life, no matter, what matters is you continue to believe.
I am, tentatively but stoically, on the mend. My friends are to thank. They’ve offered an endless supply of love and it very well saved my life. One day at a time. That’s what I’m focused on focusing on. And time will tell. For now, I am writing a book. Everyday I contribute something to it’s pages and It builds steadily. It is simply my life over the past two years. My struggle with fantasizing so much I desensitize myself to reality. It’s been quite difficult, not to admit, but to articulate. It’s a steady progress though. I need to write it down. And 2012 is promising to be a great year. Not giving up this year has made me realize just how incredibly strong I am. Beyond that I don’t know a thing. I know what I have and what I can do right now. My X Factor contestant won the competition! LOL! There. That should count for something. And, of course I’ve found my new favorite television show in Once Upon A Time. I understand how strange it is to be so pleased by these things but I haven’t really gotten into television since I was ten and it’s proved to be refreshing. It’s most certainly a kind of fantasizing but it’s one I can share with others. I can watch it with them and talk about it with them later on. In other words it’s proven to be something that keeps me connected and I need that. Also, I’ve been submitting myself for casting calls again. Probably the most positive things I could do for myself. For now I’ll just keep my focus and progress forward by not feeling so damn bad about everything. I’m still shaky. But it seems to be keeping me awake and I’m happy about it. Here’s to a hopeful New Year. In with the Love, out with the indifference.