Seconds

The morning after. Thank God Nissan builds good cars.

     I had a choice today: Stay in bed or get out and run. I’m choosing to run. The choice wasn’t easy. I got into a car accident yesterday. This time it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t even my car. My car had broken down and was stalled in the break down lane of an entrance to a highway connector. My sister came to help me and parked in a parallel break down lane- hazards on. I ran to my car to apply the gas I’d brought for it and found that the battery was dead too. I ran back to my sister’s car to tell her the news. I got into the back seat. My son was in the passengers seat, buckled in, and my sister was in the driver’s seat- buckled in but turned around to talk to me. BOOOMSomeone had decided to drive in the break down lane. He smashed full force into the back of my sister’s car. I don’t remember anything but the boom. The first thought that came to my mind was a vomitus and frantic idea that my son could be hurt. I grabbed for him crying. He was fine. He actually received the least impact. My sister’s arm and leg got stuck in the steering wheel and pedals. I was the only one unbuckled so I just got tossed around. Shelby was shaking. Luckily she was cushioned by blankets and Douglas’s book bag. We spent the night in the ER strapped to boards being X-rayed and CAT scanned. It was delightful. Douglas was fine. He wasn’t strapped to anything and was cleared of concern. That made me okay. I can take a beating, I couldn’t take my son being injured. All in all we walked out of the ER bruised, scared and disoriented, but well. We’re all doing well. But that split second factor is what has stayed on my brain. It was a split second. We were talking and safe and then we were hit. And life really could have changed for us, in that split second. If seconds matter so much then how do I get through each day? By ignoring them. I ignore most seconds of my day. They fly by without my notice. It’s probably a blessing. If I had to pay attention to every second then everyday would feel like a week. It’s the ignoring, or ignorance that saves most of us each day. I wonder, if we filmed ourselves, what would we see? In a 24 hour period what would each second look like. Thank God probability says most seconds wouldn’t look like car crashes or disasters. And some seconds may look like falling in love or winning the lotto. But here we are, after one of those less fortunate stand out seconds, rattled awake by the reality that these little seconds happen all the time. They’re happening now. Now, each second is a couple of letters. Now each second is a different image on the TV screen. What could it be if outside forces acting upon them, changing them into something like last night? Something more outstanding? I guess right now I’m just trying to settle down. Adrenaline is a powerful thing. It changes things. I kinda feel for David Banner right now. I get it. Adrenaline is an amplifier that’s pretty hard to think through. Maybe that’s why he’s a hero, he’s learned to navigate it. Back to the real world. I’m not the Hulk. I’m not a hero. I’m an ordinary girl that was rattled and is now trying to settle down. We’re all doing well. I slept most of the day. No work, no school, just tying up loose ends and sleep. I’m so glad we’re all alright. My life is still in tack. My son is well. I’ll be good until the next meeting with split seconds. For now, I’ll go on like the rest of us, ignoring them. Hopefully not missing anything important.

An oldie but goodie. This photo of us is from 2007. THE BEST!

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