Confidence is over rated. Not from an internal perspective but from an external one, confidence is no more then the pyrotechnics of personality. It shouts LOOK AT ME!!! I AM SPECIAL when, too often, it’s nothing but smoke in mirrors. I’m a big proponent of using the word “Special” very sparsely. If everyone/everything is special after all then no one/thing is. Why call anything special at all? Special is, well, SPECIAL and it rarely happens at all, let alone everyday to everyone. So confidence is something that though good from a personal perspective can be VERY bad from an external one. When an individual has confidence, the personal perspective, they radiate it. They move lithely and assuredly and their charisma is a natural attraction. This is VERY good for the person because then their ideas, their ways are more likely to be received and accepted by most; but THAT’S the danger! The danger comes in the perception and how willing we on the outside, the external perspective, are to receive the information regardless of how well it meshes with our own moral values. Confidence can win us over even if it’s preaching things that are horrid. An extreme example of this is, iconicly, Hitlar. Just listen to the man speak. He had TONS of confidence. That was great for him. But what was lacking on the external was confidence from the droves of individuals that were listening to him. They had no confidence in their own beliefs, morals, values and, most especially, their situations. Almost too willingly they handed over all that meant something to them, their pride, respect for country, love of God and neighbors, to curtail to his confidence. They were sold on the passion and fury of the speaker in front of them. But how quickly, and how cheaply, should we allow ourselves to be sold?
I once heard that if you keep telling somebody something over and over they will eventually believe you. Can this be so? Are the minds of most so weak that they will hand over their autonomy simply by being warn-down? If you hear it enough times you’ll believe it. Really? So where then is YOUR confidence, the confidence that, from the internal perspective, is actually a brilliant thing to have? What about all that meant something to you before you heard someone droan time after time into your ear the message that they wanted you to hear because it worked for them? Confidence is so wonderful for the person that has it but it is 100% a pit fall for those who do not. And it’s the cheapest trick in the book. Walk into the room with confidence and your ideas get sold. But what of the ideas? Are the ideas themselves any good at all? Had they been written on a piece of paper with no pyrotechnics from your personality, would those ideas really be worth paying attention to? I’ve watched. I’ve taken notes. Unfortunately most of what is sold is nothing but a bunch of pyrotechnics and you’ve all been burned out of your time, energy and money. Because you’re allowing confidence to affect you externally instead of internally and that’s really the only place confidence belongs. As soon as it’s pushed outside it is nothing more then a projection of something else and projections are not to be trusted. No. I am not encouraging every single one of you to be cynical. Because that’s just fear. I’m encouraging every single one of you to be CONFIDENT, internally, so you’re not side swiped by the external confidence that is very much out to get you. If someone has an idea, if they’re selling a product, even if they’re coming in for an audition, screw their confidence- watch their abilities. Look deeply to see potential. Too many great ideas are too long over looked because the person who had them lacked confidence. Why is it that we always ignore the small voice? And maybe that’s the heart of what I’m really trying to say. Please let’s stop mistaking arrogance and demonstration for confidence. Because confidence is not inherently loud. It’s not cocky or flashy. It’s steady. It’s consistent and strong. Real confidence is a by-product of integrity, which we could all stand to work a little harder on.
What inspired me to write this post was reading and viewing many things online. I couldn’t help but be bothered and disturbed by some things I saw yet because the person who was selling the product or service was confident in their delivery and, most likely, confident in their belief of what they were selling, I started to second guess myself. I started to believe what they wanted me to instead of what I knew to be correct. I started to second guess myself. They had more confidence in themselves then I did in myself and so I was at risk of handing my mind over to them. But it could happen with generally confident people as well. So impressed by somebody Else’s confidence they over look particulars about the person, and what they’re promoting, that really shouldn’t be over looked. Frightening, I think, to imagine that someones confidence could work that well on someone with out enough confidence to repel it. Instinct is there for a reason. The reason is to serve as a guide, to steer you in the direction that is best for you. It is our instincts that should be insulated in confidence. They are what confidence should serve. Confidence should never EVER reach the brain. Then it becomes nothing more then a weapon for the ego and the ego with a weapon is like a child with a gun, dangerous. Our instincts on the other hand come from our souls. They are what is placed in us to guide us toward our own happiness and well being. If confidence serves them, we will live the lives we dream. Allow your brains to remain uncluttered by the blanket of confidence. Our brains need room for the tight maneuvering that rational and logic requires so when we come into contact with external confidence we can clearly discern whether or not it is right for us and confidently turn away if it is not. Internally we have to make certain our confidence stays out of our brain’s way. The brain gets smothered by confidence and it can even start to make us convince ourselves we are good at something or happy with something when we are not. Confidence belongs down below, blanketing that tender voice living somewhere between our belly and our hearts. That is where confidence serves it’s highest purpose- keeping safe that small voice designed to lead us toward our true happiness. When and if we can keep confidence there it will work wonders for our lives. What I realize is that too often we are over taken by the confidence of others because we are too lazy to use our own for it’s proper purposes. That is when we lethargically latch onto the confidence of others and allow our own to drift up and smother our brains, blocking all attempts at rational and logic and leaving vulnerable that tender voice. That is when we can basically be convinced of anything even when it so clearly is not right for us. The small voice starts to blare but the brain can’t listen and our entire process toward happiness is thrown off balance. Keep your confidence in your belly, to warm that small voice so it purrs it’s message gently throughout your body, as a feeling not a lecture. That will center you. Keep the confidence of others at an arms length, allowing your brain, clear of clutter, to rationalize whether or not it works for you and if it deserves any more of your attention at all. And then enjoy the happiness that being balanced brings.