At Land – Maya Deren

Researching, brainstorming and otherwise seeking inspiration tonight and I always fall back to Maya Deren. She’s been the most consistent influence on me as a filmmaker and storyteller, and h…

Source: At Land – Maya Deren

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Chris Matthews: Breaking Through

http://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/todd-why-is-trump-asking-people-to-watch-porn-776463427978

Here it is. (Above). Watch and exhale! A video of immense importance. The Morning Joe discussion on MSNBC from this past Friday (9/30/2016). It does two things that are damn near impossible:

1.) Makes sense of this election

2.) Demonstrates our Press actually doing its job

This segment shows not only the intellect but the wisdom of Mr. Chris Matthews as he nails the Trump phenomenon AND gets to the heart of the American middle class in under 5 minutes.

 

Catch Mr. Matthews on Hardball weeknights at 7 p.m. EST http://www.msnbc.com/hardball

“When you get it, you get it, and you can get there quickly.”

I am so glad someone was listening – actually listening – not repeating, redistributing, retweeting, sharing, tagging or just regurgitating, but ACTULLY LISTENING to what is import to Americans. Sometimes, you can’t articulate what’s wrong because so much is wrong at the same time. Chris Matthews made sense out of all the chaos. Why isn’t this man running for President? Unfortunately  peoples are so angry they probably wouldn’t listen. Heck, I  know strict Catholics voting for Trump, even though he, beyond all other candidates, degrades all Catholic ideals. People are just so angry, disheartened, depressed and, sorry to say, desperate. The change that Obama ran on did not come – at least not fast enough or big enough – to reach the impulsive mentality of the American metaconscience. And so now, we want to get on board with the guy who attacked him every year of his presidency.

– Hey! My world isn’t perfect after Obama – Obama was supposed to change the American government, the status quo, of the last 40 years – and since that didn’t happen in 8 years, we should listen to the guy who hated him all along – Donald Trump

Maybe he was right all along? Maybe Obama was a liar, a status-quo politician in sheep’s clothing?

Unfortunately, people expect change today as quickly as they expect their emails to load, their tweets to update, their likes and responses on Facebook to appear.

That is not the way change works.

The redistribution of wealth, the balancing of our treasury, the stabilization of our economy, this is not point-and-click stuff. Many people voting for the first time do not know this. They were raised with calculators and “modeling” (it’s a teaching strategy that’s as ineffective as time-outs, Google it) in math class, smart phones with instant messages, they didn’t have to learn how to temper their impulses and struggle for answers. This is a lesson lost on many voters, and it is a problem for all of us. They have lost or never developed those necessary neuro-pathways that enable them to discern the slow-moving, that enable them to pick-up on details and that allow them to be patient and not balk at the first sign of resistance. We have to get it back.

Another thing we have to get back? Parents.

The Prince and Princess of Wales were also making headlines today (as is often the case).

Enjoy these photos from Just Jared at http://www.justjared.com/

The powerful impact it had on me was shocking but telling. I realized in scrolling those photos of the happy family of four, not posed but candid, that those children may never know how fortunate they are, not only for their billions of dollars, their titles, or their influence, but for their parents! They have parents who spend more of the day with them than away from them. That is not the case with many of our children, who are predominately raised in daycare, spending up to 60 hours a week away from BOTH PARENTS, from the tender age of 12 weeks. This isn’t a moral judgment, it’s an alarm. In doing what we thought was right, we’ve been wrong, and we’ve got to fix that.

“You don’t run away with a walk-away-Joe because you’re pissed at your parents”

(Trisha Yearwood’s lovely song where I stole the walk-away-Joe phrase. Have a listen. It’s powerful, she’s amazing and a young Matthew McConaughey stars in the video!)

Donald Trump is far from a solution, certainly not the cure, but his popularity has brought many vital problems to the surface- issues that are integral to who we are as a United people – and THAT is what we should be listening to and talking about.

On a personal note: I don’t understand why Sanders fell to the wayside.

 

I’m confused too Mr. Sanders

I guess when you mention the word “Socialism” people stop listening, smh

The sad truth is what Mr. Sanders talked about didn’t need the title “Socialism”. It should have been called the “Get Back to US-ism”, because that is what his policies offered us. Hand-outs for the poor? No way. Just not continued hand-outs for the rich (which is, decidedly, what has harmed our economy and our social structure more than any other change in government policy). Yet I get why voting 3rd party is dangerous – because of Trump and the false solution that he is.

Special thanks to:

http://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe Cast and Crew of Morning Joe

http://www.msnbc.com/hardball  Chris Matthews and Hardball

http://www.justjared.com   Just Jared staff

And:

https://twitter.com/NokomisMichelle  me, shameless self- promoter, Michelle Santagate @NokomisMichelle

 

Platform 3

 

After all this time, I finally have
a blog.
I don’t blog everyday. It’s a burden too great for me. Everyday is not the day I feel something inspired. So I wait. And sometimes it takes too long. But it always comes eventually. Today is one of
those days.

“This is all about a boy, just to warn you,…”

I was standing on Platform 3 at the Stamford station waiting for my train to arrive. The feelings running through me, swarming and churning like the air of this tropical storm we’re expecting, were a rapture inside me and the heat from their tumult was making me flush.

This is all about a boy, just to warn you, so if you feel that is too plebeian a topic for this grand introduction discontinue reading. You will only be disappointed.  Because these thoughts, the ones that came and finally inspired another blog, are all about a boy; a boy I wish I could dignify these feelings for by calling a man but alas, no. That’s not meant as a dig. He is everything delicious and irresistible that could and have inspired such feelings but if you knew him, believe me, boy is the better description. Did I fall in love with him? I don’t know. I don’t think so but none the less he affected me and deeply so what does it matter that it wasn’t (or may have been) love? It was movement and it has shaken me. Thankfully some coherent thoughts have finally surfaced, after all the muck and steam, fractured rock and molten lava of emotions have run themselves out, and I can finally articulate something useful from this experience. As I stood on Platform 3, looking at the empty train tracks just beneath me I realized this: when you decide to change the things you like to make another person happy you are moving in the wrong direction. If you are (and by YOU I mean ME) ignoring or neglecting those things in your life, putting aside those people in your life, that are important to you in order to enjoy time and experiences with this new person but they are making none of those sacrifices for you – they, in fact, only make time when they have no other option or opportunity that beckons – you have an absolute obligation to the sanctity of your person to end that relationship. Because clearly you value them but they do not value you. And if they are not reciprocating the value you place on them then you, whether or not maliciously- say, by default-, are being devalued. That is not something you can allow. Unfortunately it is also not something you can change.  You can’t change someone else’s perceptions.  You can’t change someone else’s values or priorities. You can’t change someone – period. You can of course inspire someone to change, but that sort of inspiration is not
usually intentional.

I digress.

Staring at the train tracks I realized I had no choice but to make the decision I made and move on from this bit of deliciousness that had me licking my lips as well as my tears.  I valued him. I looked forward to our interactions and missed him in his absence. Happiness would flood me when he’d connect and melancholy when we’d say goodbye. Normal stuff when you’re attracted to somebody. Natural. And so the choice to move away from it seemed almost irrational. In fact it came as an impulsive response to a discovery I made late one night but also it had been building for some time and really just erupted from that final strain. I’m sorry he didn’t see my worth. I’m sorry he didn’t find value in those things I was offering him. I’m sorry he didn’t reciprocate my interest equally. But it makes no sense to stay where you’re sorry about so much. And the same goes for him. To stay with somebody who is always moving in a different direction, who expects more than they are willing to give, or, better stated, who expects more than you can give while maintaining your own happiness, why are you staying? What fantasy has possessed your mind so integrally that your are walking through life with your eyes wide open but not seeing a thing? Oh please don’t call it love. We have to get rid of that antiquated, wholly inaccurate and completely dangerous use of the word, that what I just described is love. It most certainly is not. It’s escape. It’s addiction. It’s a high. It is not love. I have felt real, true, pure and unconditional love, and I guarantee it does not make you blind or high or float or fly – it makes you free! It makes you see. It’s makes you better then you were before not
lost at sea.

from Breathethefullest.tumblr.com – Anhung Photography
Lost at Sea  by Victoria Obscure – DeviantArt
Lost at Sea  by Inessa-emilia – DeviantArt

Believe me, love lifts you to higher levels on your own two feet. You can’t loose yourself if it’s really love because love requires your presence and continued participation. You are a part of love; when you get lost it ceases to exist. I don’t think I loved this person because I never had the chance to really know him, or show him who I was, to be completely present in his presence. I needed more time. And to invest more time I needed more reciprocity.

The ingredients weren’t there. He wasn’t  present. Physical proximity had nothing to do with it. I know you can feel lonely in the physical presence of one person and warmth from the sound of someone’s voice over the phone. It’s about the energy they share with you. But they have to share. If not they are a black hole and you will be lost forever. So I found myself on Platform 3 this morning while waiting for the express train. I found myself hurting and sad but finally okay with my decision to disconnect from a person that will continue to bring a smile to my face every time I remember his face, his smile, the sound of his voice. I can’t imagine not looking lovingly at our photos. Right now, I can’t imagine not missing him. Thankfully I’m not that 20 year old girl I used to be. The one that didn’t know that the hurt eventually subsides and that new, equally wonderful things follow. So I take solace in my daily routine, dropping off my son at school, waiting for my train, stressing over deadlines and looking forward to weekend plans with friends, because my life experiences have taught me that moving forward is the only way to start a whole new journey.

Anhung Photography

Thank you to @breathethefullest.tumblr.com

http://breathethefullest.tumblr.com/post/50595385264

(Anhung Photography)

Thank you to VictoriaObscure @DeviantArt

http://victoriaobscure.deviantart.com/

www.victoriaobscure.com

Thank you to Inessa-emilia @DeviantArt

http://inessa-emilia.deviantart.com/

www.inessrychlik.com

Fate and Free Will

How can fate and free will co-exist?
Let me explain.
I recently had a conversation about my relationship with my son’s father.
And it made me remember another conversation I’d had about my relationship with my son’s father.
This most recent conversation ended something like,
“yes, but you got your son out of it, so that’s something to be thankful for”
That’s true. Can’t argue that my son is the most awesome blessing EVER!
But the conversation I had many years ago (with a different person) went more like this:
“Your son was meant to be in this world, and you and your son’s father had to meet in order
to bring him into this world, beyond that you were just holding on to someone who’d already
served their purpose in your life because you have a problem with letting go”.
AMEN TO THAT!
You see,
Yes-
My son’s father and I were supposed to be together so Douglas could be made
but that took all of four hours one night in October of 1999.
Beyond that my son being brought into this world had nothing to do with me hanging on to his
father for the next ten years.
That was entirely about me not loving myself.
And that’s when it hit me.
Fate and free can, do and were always MEANT to coexist because fate isn’t happening all the time.
It’s like check points on the road map of your life.
a road map you design,
all except for the check points.
Those check points are Fate, when the universe, the lord, the Gods, or whom ever, is saying
HEY! There’s a bigger picture than you going on here and we need you for something at this moment.
Be there.
Anything that happens to us between those check points is our fuckin’ business.
God doesn’t even CARE!
Everyone who’s had a shitty boss knows,
Only Satan micromanages!
God gave us free will to keep us the fuck out of his way until he needs us to get something done.
He doesn’t want us hanging around like sick puppies getting in his way.

And when I speak of God using “He” please realize that I only use this as a pronoun to represent a much larger idea. Insert any pronoun of your choice- she, it, THEY-
it doesn’t fucking matter anyway.
God is WAY bigger than pronouns.
But I digress.
The only time God, or the universe, is judging our behavior is when it’s asked something of us,
a contribution to the larger picture that it needs us to contribute to,
that it, he, she, they will pass judgement for us not getting done.
For example;
God doesn’t care how often you get high.
You can get high any damn day, every day, if you’d like.
But on that day you were supposed to arrive at your check point (Fate),
you better not be on your ass, on your couch gettin’ high.
THAT’S when you find your weed laced with some bad shit and your ass ends up in a hospital somewhere.
And so, hopefully, you learn a lesson.
Serve your purpose.
I don’t think the signs are all that subtle.
We all know when we’re being pulled in a certain direction.
We just don’t always listen to it.
That’s why, I’m sure, God makes back up plans.
Like some where out there at least 5,000 people are going to be tapped to conceive the second coming or the next Dalai Lama or some shit like that,
but because of how often us humans fuck up I’m sure only two are gonna get it right.
Fate has back up plans because of our inconsistencies.
God’s sort of laying ground for any number of possibilities and the one that plays out is the one
that worked the best for what God saw at that time, based upon what we gave him to work with.
If we didn’t show up at our check point, God has plenty of understudies.
The show must go on.
In other words, the people who listen to their fate are the ones that arrive at just the right time.
Stay in tune.
The signs are there.
They were with my son.
I actually could feel myself being exactly where I was supposed to be.
And for days prior, every time I looked around a street corner, I would SEE his father’s truck coming around that corner, even though I knew he was miles away in Florida.
Ever door I walked through I expected him to be on the other side.
I knew he was coming.
It was supposed to happen.
And so it did.
And my son got his right to life.
We served our purpose for the higher purpose.
Beyond that,
it was just me wasting my own time.
Doug was meant to be.
His father and I were not.
And I dug my self a hole by walking in circles around that damn check point.
True, I may have needed to learn a lesson at that check point that I’d have to know to arrive
at my next check point.
But there is NO WAY God determined that it was supposed to take me ten years to learn it.
I don’t think God, if he had time to think about it, wants anymore misery in the world then need be.
He, I’m sure, would have been quite content to have me learn my lesson in say, oh, five months, move
on and have myself a blast for the following nine years and seven months. As long as I arrived at my next check point (Fate) when I was supposed to, he didn’t dictate my suffering.
I did.
I did that to myself.
Because I couldn’t let go.
So the next time somebody says to me,
but at least you got your son out of it,
I will confidently respond,
No.
I got my son out of four hours, one night.
The other nine years, eleven months, thirty days and 20 hours,
was about me being a complete dumb ass.
Hopefully now though,
I’m ready for my next check point 🙂

Broken

If I am broken
and there are only pieces of me
I will make them move in harmony
In place of melody
in sync
despite detachment
walking stride by stride
side by side
and forward
and behind
beating while the others rest
in their turn
so from without
all you would see
Is one whole piece
One whole me
not fragments
but facets of a face
the eyes the mouth the skin the sounds
of one steady beat
sounding from the breast
a chorus of parts
singing one song
forming one beat
and moving on
forward to where ever they’d go
side by side and row by row
fragmented, broken always
never to be fused again
feeling always vulnerable
and at odds
never good or clean or worthy
always from the inside broken and ashamed
but strong enough to figure out
how to move forward anyway
by leaps and bounds of faith

Orpheus On The Train

Orpheus and Eurydice Greek Mythology Original Painting

Eurydice had it good;
true love and muse of the greatest musician of the time.
Man.
Think of that courtship;
new songs and poems every night.
That would have made me fall in love with him.
Sweet.
More then the poems and songs though,
her man went to Hades and back for her.
Even death didn’t stop him from finding his way back to her,
and his way back with her-
almost.
There-in lies the tragedy:
Orpheus almost won her back. He was a step away and lost her forever.
No battle or blade could do what his music did to Hades;
the perpetual grump of the land of the dead,
music moved him and his bitter queen.
Music did what even other Gods couldn’t.
It changed death’s mind.
Almost.
Because Orpheus turned around,
didn’t he?
Right before he was going to win the greatest battle ever waged.
He’d braved the journey to the underworld,
persuaded the impersuadable,
but was too impatient to wait just one more step.
Damn.
My thoughts after I first heard the story long ago:

It’s not fair ( LOL)
Doesn’t he get any credit at all? (Yeah-right)
What about all that way he’d come?
doesn’t that count for anything? (Nope).

But it taught me something.
Faith is a treacherous journey.
It means moving on even after you’ve braved the sandstorm just to find that a mountain stands in front of you after the sands have settled. It means not giving up when you’re absolutely done and completely positive you shouldn’t have to do a lick more work,
when you know you moved that mountain but its back there in front of you again,
when you know you’ve earned the prize but are left without the slightest acknowledgement,
That is when faith must be firmest.
Orpheus’ journey is a lesson in faith.
It warns us that the most treacherous part of the journey is that last length right before the prize.
The tricky part is
that’s when we are most tired,
feel the most beaten,
and it makes the most sense to give up.
But on the train today I was inspired by the sunrise
to think of poor Orpheus and why in the world such a downer of a story would ever be told.
And I remembered,
it was a lesson.
One I needed to be reminded of.
The recesses of my mind came back with an answer to my screaming and aching cries for HELP:
It’s hardest at this moment.
This is the most horrible part.
But if you don’t get through this you’ll be back to your beginning and you’ve come too far to let fatigue and heartache win.
Let the tragedy of Orpheus teach you something.
Because to me the guy had it all;
talent the God’s worshiped and love, real, true love, that had a chance at thwarting death-
But didn’t.
I’m not judging the guy.
Who am I to call him a fool?
I’m sitting all cozy listening to his story,
how do I know how that last foot step of his felt?
I wasn’t in his shoes.
But it teaches me something.
Because it’s meant to.
That Faith is a treacherous road,
and that it gets tougher towards the end,
and despite the fatigue,
the heartache,
the fear,
and the anger we may feel at things being so difficult,
our bodies,
our hearts,
beings so exhausted,
We could loose all we’ve gained if we look back even once.
Life
Is the treacherous road,
and Faith-
It’s a forward motion.